1. Finger foods make excellent projectiles – Cheerios are ideal for this and can be thrown the full length of our kitchen-diner, although carrot sticks make a pleasing ‘thwuck’ when they hit the ground and bananas have the added bonus of sliding across the laminate.
2. Forks and spoons just slow you down – scrambled eggs, baked beans and soggy shreddies are all quicker and tastier when scooped up with your hand – preferably with both hands.
3. A messy eater is a happy eater – food around the face and hands may suggest that a baby has eaten, but definitely proves that they have had fun playing (this may be related to the above points…).
4. Baby can survive on breadsticks alone – versatile for snacks and meals, handy to take out, can be handed back to a child in a car seat while driving and can be clutched two in each hand for at least an hour, should the future supply be doubtful.
5. The best form of bribery is snacks – total silence will cost a small pot of chocolate ice cream and happy child can be bought with a pot of raisins.
Five Things I have learnt about how to eat from watching Quibble:
1. It will always taste better from someone else’s plate – ideally chocolate from Mummy’s plate or anything from Daddy’s plate as these get the best reactions.
2. You can never have too much pasta – cheesy pasta, pasta with cheese, tomato pasta, tomato pasta with cheese, sausage and pasta…
3. Previous eating habits are no indicator of future eating habits – In less than four years the following have all gone from firm favourites to threaten-me-with-them-and-I’ll-cry: hummus, peas, broccoli, sliced tomatoes, rice, risotto, cake and any kind of soup.
4. Rejected food must not be allowed to remain on the plate – that lone pea may well contaminate the rest of the meal and should at the very least be thrown onto the table.
5. The best form of bribery is snacks – silence will cost a bag of fruity flakes, a happy child can be bought with slices of apple with raisins and chocolate drops and for a chocolate Rice Krispie cake Daddy will never find out what really happened to his car magazine…